I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
