I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
