I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
im holly from the hills drunk
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
