Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
