Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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