did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize