you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
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Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Alive.
So much puke
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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