And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
