help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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