A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
