You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
