Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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