How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
