You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
