When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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