dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We had to coat check the pizza.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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