Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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