Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I touched a dick in church today
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
