if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
