definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
