So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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