I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
