I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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