My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize