did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
