I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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