this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
