Will you blow on my dice?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize