After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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