Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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