when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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