Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
