In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
