I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
