It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
