And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
