He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
