Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
