last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
