My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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