i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
the raccoons are back...
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