There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
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My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
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First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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