ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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