We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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