Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
