My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize