I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This baby is an asshole
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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