Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to calm my uterus...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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