This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You are a genius and a whore.
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