Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize