jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
