Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i permit you to call me
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
