I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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