we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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