He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
