Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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